Good afternoon Monika dear,
I’ve news that you now need to hear,
My results have arrived,
I’m not only alive,
But I’ve also received the all clear!
So now come and lend me your ear.
I promise there’s nothing to fear.
If your arse is still willing,
To take a large filling,
Then it’s time to be fucked in the rear.
Pray tell me when you can come here.
I don’t want to wait half a year.
For it won’t take an army,
To hide my salami,
You just need to sit on my spear!